COMEDY WARNING – Just a note before we start, this is supposed to be sarcastic and funny. So please don’t follow too closely. Sources: myself, fellow designers and design haters.
Designers are admittedly a rare breed, but who do graphic designers think they are? I mean, it’s the client that came up with the idea to get something designed, it’s the client that is picking out the colors, it’s the client that’s doing all the work. Right? All the designer is doing is putting some colors on a screen.
Here is what I’ve found out you can do to really drive your graphic designer crazy. Not sure why, but designers are a little touchy and precious about their creations.
If you’ve got a great idea, put it into Word and send it to the designer. Got images? Toss them into Word too. Flowcharts are definitely best in Excel. All your assets should come in some Microsoft document because everyone loves Microsoft Office.
Helvetica, ask for Arial. Arial ask for Comic Sans, this the best font ever. Hands down.
More is better
What’s all that white space? Lets add some images up in that margin. Also, we can shorten up the page if we get rid of all that white space in-between paragraphs. Margins and padding are for dummies. That’s valuable real estate. Ohh maybe we could put some clip art up there. If you have a child who is currently working on his art project, get him to sketch out what you want with his crayons. Designers love that.
Always send your logos to the graphic designer in a Word document. Didn’t you already learn this? It should be small and low quality. Ask them just to take it off your website. Don’t worry, they’ll be able to perform magic and make it look awesome; at no extra cost of course. Once they get it in the design, always ask for it to be bigger. Bigger is better. Make everything bigger.
Get Specific Generic
Here are good things to say to your designer: I want a design that really speaks to me. Something that is now. Can we add a little pizazz and jazz it up just a bit? Make it pop. Our goal here is to make it aspirational. We want it to be different but just like theirs. We are looking to target children, families, couples, students and we also attract a lot of OAP’s. You have the freedom to be really creative here.
Then when the designer adds pizazz and all that jazz, tell them that you didn’t want your design to look like that. What the hell were they thinking? You told them what you wanted, something very simple (attach new word document with scanned pencil scribble)
Copy (the text)
Remember to send through a full A4 page of text to go on your A5 advert. This is important the more information you get on your advert the more the consumer has to read. Remember also to keep repeating yourself to get that message across. How about pulling things out and adding it again in big colourful stars?
Pick strong colours like red and blue. And when the design comes back to you, tell them you didn’t want red red. Have them bump it down a notch. And that blue is too blue. How about we change that to more of a sky blue. And where is the green?
Take your time approving the design. This is an important decision so take days, weeks or even longer. But once you give the feedback, demand that the designer turn it around in less than 24 hours. I mean, how hard can his job be? You did all the work here.
And we’re done!
This is great, it’s perfect. We’re all done, except can we make the lady a little more happy and that blue is more of a morning sky blue, can we change it to evening sky blue? Also that night time skyline is too dark can we make it sunny?
Ohh and I have another project for you. Since you know my style, can we do it in 1/2 the time and cost this time? It’s pretty much the same thing, only different colors and layout.
After you have beaten them within an inch and they have abondoned all hope of winning an argument. You want it yellow and purple?, yellow and purple it is. Six differnet fonts? Sure. Once these crucial final amends have been made, tell them you are disappointed by their lack of initiative. Tell them, they are the designers and you were looking for their expertise and talent. That you expected more creative input.
You should now have a broken designer. Now all you have to do, is wait to complain about the print you sourced yourself ;).